Lowering the sports bar

So I'm listening to the Mets game on the radio, and I hear a commercial for Nathan's. For those that may not know, Nathan's is a Brooklyn institution and the home of, arguably, the greatest hot dogs in America. I'm proud to claim it as part of my home city.
I'm listening to the narrator mention its storied history. 97 years old. And I'm enjoying it...until I hear about "the contest". That would be, of course, the hot dog eating contest, begun by them in the 1970's. And my mood changes on a dime from pride to disgust.
This blog isn't about the "sport" of "competitive eating." Which, of course, is especially popular in Bangladesh. It's about how some things get to be considered sports, whereas when us 50 something types were growing up, things like this would just be considered...well...gross.
But there's more. I notice that as I get older, things that have nothing whatsoever to do with athletic prowess are now considered sports. Why? Easy. Because people like me can't compete as easily in demanding sports. So the most rudimentary, mundane, everyday tasks can now be considered a sport.
Hey, ESPN has 10 sports channels. That's 1,680 hours of programming per week that has to be filled. There are only so many reruns and talking heads to go around. The rest of it has to be filled up with, well, "inventive" sports.
In all fairness, some of these newly minted sports DO require some mental toughness. Poker being one example. I love a good poker game. But let's face it. I could destroy everyone at the table and be morbidly obese. Same for fishing. Even chess. Or billiards...something else that I love.
I used to put golf in that category, but that's only because I've never played it and I imagine I wouldn't be very good at it. I do remember a couple of pretty overweight golfers but the good ones all look like they're in pretty good shape. So I'll grudgingly grant golf legitimate sports status. I still think it's boring as hell to watch. Then there's NASCAR, another sport requiring very little, if any, physically athletic prowess. Mentally, of course, it might be the most demanding sport of all.
And in the early days of Sports Illustrated, there were actually fisherman, chess wizards, and the like who made the cover.   
It raises a question to me of how one defines a sport. How important is being physically fit?
I have my own personal sport. One I invented. I called it the 3 foot dash. I stand on a line with 11 other equally talented sprinters. When the starting gun goes off, I move my right leg three feet forward. As soon as my leg crosses the finish line, (and I'm almost impossible to beat at this), I get sponsor endorsements, bling, and groupies (well, not those anymore).
It's all in the timing, the rigorous training, and the Nathan's hot dogs that I consume before every event. 


Anyone want to sponsor me?