February

First, before I begin, an addendum to last week's blog on hats. A certain person who chooses to remain anonymous gently reminded me that I received a really nice looking, stylish cap for the holidays that, according to this person, increases my attractiveness. And that I failed to mention it.
So, to this anonymous person, aka GWCTRA, I plead no lo contendre. And will wear this woolen item proudly forevermore.
One more hat thing...GWCTRA sent me this link: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/04/books/dr-seuss-himself-was-a-cat-in-the-hat.html?emc=eta1&_r=0.
It's about Dr. Seuss and his love for... yes, hats.
Oh, and one more bit of housekeeping. So far, I have only one follower of this blog. And that person is...me. How sad is that?

So, let's talk about the vertically challenged month of February. Chris Rock mentioned that February is Black History Month. He then observed, "Yeah, just like the white man to give the brothers the shortest month."
Even though it IS the shortest month, February still has less happening per capita day than any other month. I suppose it's biggest claim to fame is that 2 of our top POTUSii were born in February. Also, still the greatest HR hitter of all time in my book, Henry Aaron. And the greatest hoops player, one M. Jordan. And my brother, who may not be as popular as the Abe, George, the Hammer or his Airness, but still a cool guy.
There's also the fake holiday Valentine's Day. I don't like it. Never did. Yeah, I do the romance thing. But I don't like being told what to do because of an artificial holiday. Maybe it's because when I was a kid, I had some bad experiences. (Did anyone ever notice the acronym for this day is VD? And no, that's not the experience I'm talking about.) What happened was...nothing. None of my elementary school classmate girls gave me valentines. Unless the teacher gave them one to give to me. Then again, I didn't reciprocate. This was 3rd grade, with the terrifying, and aptly named, Mrs. Cannon. Built like Ray Lewis, except perhaps more intimidating. Anyway, I thought girls were stupid back then. So maybe the combination soured me on the holiday. But isn't romance better when it's spontaneous? Not only that, didn't Al Capone gun down a bunch of people on the massacre named after this allegedly romantic day? 
Another quibble I have with February is that it's the only unstable month in the calendar. Sometimes 28 days. But every four years, we add the leap day. I don't like instability. Why can't we tack the leap day to different months on different leap years?
But there are two cool things that happen in February.
One is that baseball begins. No, not the season. Just that first whiff of leather. That first sound of the ball popping into the mitt. It's barely palatable, like the first crack of dawn. All that happens is that the pitchers report to spring training camp. "Position" players (as non-pitchers are called...something I don't understand. Isn't pitching also a position? That's like calling the non-offensive line in football the "skill" positions. What, are the O-line players morons? In fact, the brightest players on the team are usually on the O-line)
But I digress...the (ahem) "position" players report end of month or beginning of March. It's still bitter cold outside but like a warm, faint light at the end of a cold tunnel, baseball is not that far away.

Here's the other thing I like about February. Ground Hog's Day. Surprisingly, one of many holidays in which the schools do not close. As a kid, I always felt ripped off when schools stayed open. I felt the same way about (in chronological order), Arbor Day, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Ash Wednesday, April Fool's Day, Cinco De Mayo, Flag Day, Columbus Day, and Pearl Harbor Day.
I love the movie of the same holiday. Anyone who knows me knows that I've had a crush on Andie McDowell for years. GWCTRA is fine with it. Add to it a vintage Bill Murray performance and you have one of those rare comedies that is both funny and spiritual. Not many like that. Plus, as a bonus, there's a guy in a stovepipe hat.
I also love that, of all towns in the USA to spot this mysterious creature, they chose Punxatawney, PA. I'm grateful it wasn't a Springfield or a Greenville or some other generic name. They picked an interesting town name. At least for the biggie. As there are at least half a dozen other celebrations across North America.
Here's a question: What (According to StormFax Weather Almanac) is Phil's accuracy? The answer: 39%. That's worse than flipping a coin. Why does Phil get this job security? Is he in a union?
OK...that's all for now. A happy Februaryzzzz to all of you. Wake me up when February ends. (with apologies to Green Day)