Courtesy and Cowardice

Can't say I'm a Jane Austen fan, but I'm not above riffing off of one of her titles.

That's because this blog will be about one of the two above topics. Don't know which yet. I never know where these blogs end up. I don't work off an outline. I just sort of let it flow and see where it goes. Maybe it'll end up being about Thai food...which has nothing whatsoever to do with the subject matter.

So here's what happened. I'm in a "fairly rapid" food restaurant...Five Guys Burgers. (Their food isn't ready immediately, so to call it fast food would be an exaggeration.) This guy, maybe 20, walks in wearing a faded yellow t-shirt with black letters, which read "F&%K Smooth Vocals", or something similar. I'm just remembering the 1st word. A word I use all the time, probably more than most people. But always in company that I perceive is fine with it. I was in fact tempted to print the word without special characters, as everyone knows what it is. But you never know...kids can read the site (not that I anticipate a wave of kids to head over here) and I'm feeling self-conscious.

The bearer of said shirt wasn't burdened, as I was, with any inhibitions about language. Nor did his female companion, who apparently didn't care. Maybe this is a step up for her in the class department, assuming her last boyfriend was Jerry Sandusky. There are kids of all ages here, and the parents either don't notice, don't care, or prefer not to confront "X rated shirt" guy.
This is where my cowardice kicks in. I'm embarrassed to say this, but I did nothing. Oh, I came close. I seriously considered it. I had all kinds of scenarios.
1: I confront the guy, who looks to be around 5'-9", maybe 170 pounds. I'm considerably bigger. He takes a swing at me. I respond by flattening him. Someone calls the cops. Someone else puts it up on YouTube. I have my 15 minutes of fame.
2: I confront the guy. He comes to his senses, asks for a lift to the nearest clothing store so he can get a decent shirt and we become best friends. His life is immeasurably changed.
3: I confront the guy. We have a heart to heart and he apologizes out loud to everyone in the place.
4: I DON'T confront the guy but he comes up to me and says, "Hey, I was just wondering. You look like a smart guy. Do you think my t-shirt is offensive?"

Of course, none of that happened. No one confronted or spoke to the guy. I thought long and hard about it. I truly wasn't going to be high and mighty about it, because nothing good ever comes out of that attitude. I was picturing a conversation like,
Me: Listen, I need to ask you a question. I don't mean this disrespectfully, but I have to ask you about the shirt.
F-Shirt Guy: What about it?
Me: "It's that phrase on the front. I use the F-Word all the time. I don't have a problem with the word itself. But you HAD to know there are kids in here. How come you're wearing that particular shirt?"
F-Shirt Guy: Eyedohno... (Pronounced phonetically...I'm perceiving the guy as having a 3 word sentence maximum). 
Me: (I explain something about what it's like to be a father and that I'm concerned about kids. I'm figuring his attention span is already maxxed out)

Who knows where it would have gone. Perhaps it would have led to any of the 4 scenarios above. Perhaps he was armed. But at this moment, I'm royally angry with myself for not doing anything. If my son, now 24, was with me and younger, I truly wouldn't have let it go. I have trouble understanding why the parents didn't say anything.
I then thought, "Are parents that overwhelmed? What would possess someone to wear that shirt in public? Is this typical of society?" At first, I thought of the cataclysmic decline in manners. But then I thought that Socrates often complained about the same thing. And that the overwhelming majority of people DO practice courtesy and manners. It's like seeing litter on the highway. It pisses me off, but I then realize that it only takes one person to spoil a highway and that the litterer represents probably less than .05% of the population.
And then I thought about narcissistic behavior and where I was when I was his age. When I was 20, I was narcissistic too, although I don't recall doing anything at that age that would have drawn that kind of attention. Late teens? Definitely. I'd pick fights when I was drunk. Laugh incredibly loud. Especially after toking up. Raise my voice whenever I thought I had something clever to say, which was probably 75% of the time. Ignore advice...especially if it came from someone over 40.
But would I wear a shirt like that? Absolutely not.

What if it happens next time? I really believe, I WILL talk to him, even if he looks like an escaped convict who'd kill me as soon as look at me. I really mean it. If I sense danger, I'll walk away and say, "No disrespect. I just needed to say it. Sorry if I offended you." (And I will not look him in the eye. I know the rules of the road) If/when it happens, I'll post the results.

If I'm alive. Because I hate feeling chicken-(you can fill in the last word).