My cousin Les

Hi anyone out there: Thanks for stopping by. I'd like to launch my 1st blog with a memory of my cousin Les Trachtman, 1934-2012, who passed away 7/20/12. 

If you saw Les or spoke with him, you wouldn't be blown away. In fact, you'd walk away thinking, "Nice guy" and then go on to your next thing. 

But "nice guy" describes Les like "decent basketball player" describes Michael Jordan. 

First, I'm not even sure Les was my cousin. That's because he's my grandmother's sister's son. So perhaps he was an uncle. I never understood family titles and all the "removed" or "2nd" or "3rd" stuff.

Next point: Les lived in Potomac, MD with his wife Gerdy. Their 2 children, Alana and Danny live nearby. Les and Gerdy became grandparents for the first time, in their 70's, 2 years ago. Mom Alana would give birth to their 2^nd granddaughter in 2011. Danny got married for the first time around his 40th birthday. So what we have here is a family that does things at their own pace. And that pace is slooow.  The only exception being the matriarch Gerdy, who is "octi-lingual" and does most things in a blur. Les and Gerdy had one of the most interesting dynamics of any couple I've met. Living proof that opposites can indeed attract.  Two whirlwinds, one external and one internal.

OK, so much for demographics. Let's go to the heart of the matter. Why did I drive from CT to Washington DC and back in one day for a memorial service? There are very few people in my life who I'd make a trip like that for. But Les wasn't just anyone. Les was one of the genuinely nicest, kindest, and most humble people I've ever met. 

Les was also a gifted photographer. And as the rabbi said at the memorial service, Les saw the world much like a photographer in the sense that he saw beauty in most everything he did. And he added that beauty to the world. Danny saw Les at the hospital a few days before his passing. Danny asked his dad what the most important values were in life. Although weakened by the leukemia that would take him 2 days later, Les didn't hesitate to answer. He said "Empathy and humility." Simple answer. Just two words. But how many of us live by those standards? I try, and fail miserably most of the time. I suspect there were times in Les' life that he was less than empathic or humble. But I never witnessed any of those moments. 

Les loved to suggest things. All the time, usually unsolicited. What business was it of his to suggest that I look for jobs in a certain way? Who did he think he was suggesting career changes to me? Did I ask his opinion? No, I didn't. But when Les suggested anything, he wasn't married to the suggestion. He was fine if the suggestion was ignored. Which I generally did. But Les was a fount of ideas. And curiosity. And humor. And wisdom. 

At the memorial service, I learned that Les would love to talk with folks just doing their job in public service (as I like to do as well). Cashiers, janitors, blue collar America. He'd smile, strike up a conversation with a question or two. Why? Because he was curious. And because he knew in his heart that we were all equal. There were 2 words that seemed to be totally divorced from Les' life. Those 2 words were ego and judgment.

No, you wouldn't be blown away after speaking with Les. But you'd feel just a little bit better about yourself. Is there a better gift that anyone can give? 

RIP, cousin (uncle?) Les.