Unis

(As in "YOU-knees". As in, short for uniforms)

I've always been interested in uniforms. As some know, I've had a theory that, at the pro level, there are two factors that will prevent any team from winning a championship. Those are...stupid nicknames. And ugly uniforms. As Exhibits A and B of the latter, I bring you the Cincinnati Bengals and the mid-1980's Houston Astros. The latter, a franchise of mostly very good teams who couldn't get past the hump because their uniforms bore an uncanny resemblance to ice cream vendors.
The converse is not true. i.e. Great uniforms don't guarantee anything. But I will say that the coolest unis in sports are usually worn by successful franchises. If I had to pick one, I'd pick the Steelers. A great franchise name and a great uniform. In fact, I've always had an attraction to black and gold and Pittsburgh is the only city that has all its franchises (including U of Pittsburgh) with the same color scheme.
Traditional uniforms are fine too. Low key, stately, no major statement to make. These teams let their games do the talking. I like that. 
My good friend Andy and I have a philosophical difference about unis. He's basically OK with loud uniforms. Or even multiple uniforms. Our team, the Mets, don't wear uniforms. At least not by my definition. To me, a uniform is something the viewer can visually depend on. A "look". Most teams have 2 looks. One for home, one for away. And the two are visually similar. The Mets have, seemingly, 162 looks. One for each game of the season. I can't match the Mets with a uniform. They may be the only team in professional, or even collegiate, sports with this characteristic. They haven't won a World Series since 1986. At which time, they were still in the basic home/away mode of 2 uniforms. I rest my case.  
I'm also not in love with green as a sports color. It looks political, not like a school that's trying to present a winning look. Green, if it's the color, should be understated. Michigan State is one school that does "green" nicely. At the pro level, the Celtics do it well also. The Oregon Ducks are big time ugly (and green-in-your-face) and flashy, but they've been successful.
In general, I don't think college teams, unlike the pros, have to worry about unis. Unless, that is, ugliness is taken to a whole new level.

Which is the point of this blog. I bring you...Notre Dame.

First, GWCTRA and I went to see the movie Amour a few weeks ago. A very well done movie that pulls no punches about the elderly and saying goodbye to those we love. It's a gut wrenching movie. I'd like to recommend it, but it's so depressing that I just cannot do so. It took me 2 or 3 days to get it out of my head.
The reason for this digression is that it'll take me at least that long to get the Notre Dame uniforms out of my head.I've been visually assaulted. My sports sensibilities have been scrambled.
Imagine the love child of the Green Hornet and the Village People. Imagine that famous Pink Floyd green pyramid poster from Dark Side of the Moon on steroids. Imagine Joe Arpaio, that upstanding patriot who believes that the way you bring justice to Arizona is by humiliating prisoners and forcing them to wear pink lacy things. Well, Joe, your experiment has morphed over to the NCAA's, substituting green for pink.
This doesn't begin to explain how hideous these unis are. I may have been wrong but I could swear I saw green stockings on some of the players. And green boxers too. It's almost impossible to tell because you can't really get the full effect in one look. You can look above the waist and see green hi-liters and stuff on the arms. You can look midrange and see the boxers. You can look a bit lower and see green leggings, or something like that. Or you can look at the feet and see...I don't know...slippers?
It's no surprise, at least to me, that the Fighting Irish got blown out by Iowa State. And sadly, this is one of the storied schools in history.
I'm OK with the Irish. I know some don't like them in the same way that some hate the Dallas Cowboys (of which I'm definitely one). The "America's Team" thing. But the Irish are a college without a history of arrogance or thugism. Two qualities the Cowboys are loaded with.
Notre Dame doesn't deserve a fate like this. No one should be forced to parade themselves in such a great tournament in this manner. It's tough enough when you're a team of SWHIGs. (Slow White Guys). That alone usually means you're bounced by the 2nd round. But having to wear those monstrosities?
Life just ain't fair sometimes.